Here are the 2 winning entries of the first competition :

1. KEEP LOOKING MONICA, ITS DOWN THERE SOMEWHERE!! - by Paul Gulliver, Barnsley

2. Maurice demonstrates the new open air urinal at the Jungle - by Wayne Edginton, Cleckheaton

 Other entries also worthy of a mention : 

 ...and finally I would like to thank Mr. and Mrs. Hetherington for asking me to become Vice President of the Ugly Club.

  Friends, Romans, Country men, Lend me your Arses!

 "Evening Post. Read all about it. Evening Post"

I love the Police Academy films and I wonder if what happened to the Police chief will happen to me !!!